Why Is My Partner Not Intimate Towards Me?
Faizel Patel – 22-10-2017
So the other day, a friend who is single asked me, is it true that married couples don’t have an active physical or sexual relationship?
I must admit, I was stumped by the question, but it got me thinking if what he was asking is really a fact or even true?
So I conducted a poll and the results were shocking. Fifty one percent of respondents who answered the question if they had a physical and active relationship, said no.
What was surprising though, is that most of the respondents were men, who were totally frustrated by the lack of sexual activity during a marriage.
The situation is somewhat exacerbated by the arrival of children who take up a lot of time, which would otherwise be spent amongst husband and wife.
I am in no way condoning not having children and I am not councilor, but merely writing from experience that kids sometimes do have an impact on the sexual relationship between a couple and occasionally when they are young have the perfect timing to disrupt a session, if you get my drift.
So what contributes to a lack of physical or sexual activity in a marriage besides the kids? Fatigue plays a huge role in the situation. When one partner comes home from work or is very tired and falls asleep on the couch even before the clock strikes eight.
This fatigue also hampers the efforts by the other partner to initiate physical or sexual activity, which over a number of years can become habit.
Men have been complaining for years and even some women about the lack of physical or sexual activity. While humans are fallible, thoughts of infidelity do creep in which sometimes sways the perception that this may be the reason why there is a lack of intimacy or sexual activity between husband and wife.
But there are other reasons as well. In brief, an article on the Internet lists 5 possible causes for a lack of intimacy between married couples.
This includes:
- He or she is an after thought
- Your affection is divvied up. Slowly, but surely, we start passing out our affection to lots of stuff over the years.
- He or she doesn’t pay attention to you, due to other interests that have captured their imagination or wonder.
- He or she is cheating. This is one of the most concerning reasons as they may share the intimacy with another person thereby avoiding a physical relationship with their marriage partner.
- He or she is putting himself or herself first.
While there are many more possible reasons, these may only emerge when the couple seeks counseling or are truthful with each other.
Like any activity in a marriage, intimacy is a key ingredient, which makes the union successful.
Sadly when the marriage lacks physical intimacy, it can lead to other enticing or even nasty avenues that can result in a split or divorce.
So to answer the question my friend asked me, yes, some married couples may not have an active physical relationship, if they have one at all.
Marriage is about compromise and unifying the love between husband and wife. It’s about giving and taking, but most importantly sharing and if one partner lacks and drifts off this institution, unfortunately it’s game over, or is it?
